Saturday, October 29, 2011

Lesson 9 Journal Entry

*What else do I still need to do?
I still need to read my sources and take more notes, so I can have some more supporting details to bolster my thesis. I also need to organize my sources by using index cards and annotate them correctly. This will ensure a better prepared prewriting session in the next week or so.

* What do I need outside help with?
I will need outside help with my sources. I will need an outside perspective on my thesis to make sure I am not missing an points I can integrate. I will also need help with editing and second opinions on how differently I can phrase a sentence or paragraph. I will also need help with making sure I stay within the same tense and for comma placement and grammatical errors.

*Why am I feeling threatened by this research paper (if you are)? or Why am I feeling confident about this research paper.
I am feeling confident about this research paper because this is something I feel I have a somewhat personal perspective on. People vent about things that upset them in different ways. I remember my mom venting on her fear of Desert Storm by drawing a cartoon about her feelings at the precise moment that the war had started. Now here I am trying to express my feelings on the pain and suffering that our unit has been through during this deployment. I feel for these soldiers so much. This is my outlet and I hope to be able to bring about an understanding to my audience on what these soldiers are enduring. I also hope to further my understand so I can find a way to help.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Lesson 8 Journal Entry #3

Score for Thesis Statement Exercises: 80%
Document attached to Lesson 8.

Lesson 8 Journal Entry #2

*Read any article pertaining to your research topic that contains a visual element (a graphic). Name that article and its author. Explain why the visual is effective or ineffective in swaying your view on the topic. Make it interesting for the reader who does not already know your thesis. Include a URL to find the graphic (or instructions for doing so if you can't link to it).
In a Los Angeles Times article "Long Term Medical Care Extensive for Wounded Soldiers" written by Tony Perry, the image of Marine Lance Cpl Juan Dominquez is very moving. He is a triple amputee that was injured by a roadside bomb while serving in Afghanistan. This visual is very effective for my view on my topic because it is very personal to my life. It is the reality of some soldiers in my husband's platoon. The casualties caused by Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs) and the number of amputees as a result has increased in the two years. The strength and perserverance of these soldiers as they struggle with the realities of being single, double, and triple amputees inspire me. I hope to write and research this topic to help others have a better understanding of the hardships they go through and the endless courage they have to continue on after experience such terrible injuries.
Image and article can be found at http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2015049677_injuredtroops15.html

Lesson 8 Journal Entry #1

*Preview, read, and annotate any image in the essay "Two Ways a Woman Can Get Hurt";Advertizing and Violence" on pp. 417-441 of ReReading America. What is its strongest argument? Be sure to describe the image, tell what page it is on, and so forth... in a way that a person who is not taking this course can apprecitae its significance.
The strongest argument that the author, Jean Kilbourne, made was for the advertising images for Calvin Klein. The image on p. 436 features a teenage boy wearing daisy duke shorts and sitting on a floor with his legs bent and spread. His underwear can clearly be seen peeking out from the crotch of his shorts. Kilbourne suggested that Calvin Klein purposely does his new clothes campaigns to imitate child exploitation. He profits by getting higher sales, more publicity, and maintain his rebel appearance. He does not think of the repercussions that can result from this and the affect it will have on growning children and their self esteem. I am in agreement. He uses something that is very taboo and immoral to further his business.

Lesson 7 Journal Entry #2

I read and commented on Jasmine's blog, http://icebluerose.blogspot.com

Lesson 7 Journal Entry #1

*Who is the audience for your essay? What is the thesis of essay? Does it include the claim and 3 supporting reasons to make it a strong thesis?The audience for my essay would be taxpayers, federal prison officials, and advocacy groups. They need to be swayed by my view on the treatment of prisoners in the federal prison system. Prisoners should only be given the basic human rights and receive privileges that are geared toward rehabilitation. My supporting reasons include how prisoners are in prison for a reason, because they broke the law. The costs of keeping them in luxuries with amenities that even the basic law-abiding citizen does not recieve for free, and how is expensive toward taxpayers. These points did well to support my thesis.  
*Can the audience be swayed by your claim and reasons? Why or why not? Tell why each reason is strong enoug to sway a person to your way of thinking.
I believe that the audience is swayed by my claim because my reasons support my view. It is expensive to provide unnecessary privileges to people who committed crimes. We, the taxpayers, are the ones keeping them comfortable. They did the crime so now they need to be punished. If rehabilitation can help keep them out of prison and onto a better life then that is the services that need to be provided. I believe my audience will be swayed because they are mostly all taxpayers and law-abiding and can relate to my position.
*What value does each of your sources have to your audience?
The value is that they are either government officials that are trying to change the way things are done in the prison system to alleviate the burden for taxpayers. They are also trying to find the balance between both imprisonment and rehabilitation to benefit all parties involved. Even the opposing sources offer personal experience to back up their claims. However, it still in favor of my view because my audience is not based on prisoners but those who have to pay.

Lesson 6 Journal Entry #4

*Tell the reader of your blog why understanding visual elements is useful to writing arguments.
Visual elements can enhance the views that you are trying to impart on the audience. If you are writing an argument a graphic or picture can help it along and get your points across. Many readers need a better understand of what they are reading. A graphic or picture in an argument can help them understand what emotion or feeling, you as an author, is trying to impart to them. If one word is the forefront to your argument and needs to be singled out from the rest of the writing, then a bold visual element can help. Another example can be a picture that will impart a strong emotion on a particle point that the author is trying to make in order to sway the audience toward his or her view.

Lesson 6 Journal Entry #2

*How do the images on p. 118 relate to current events?
In the last couple of years, the U.S. Military and government have been under attack by many for the abuses of detainees in the Middle East and Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Torture and the disregard for prisoners' basic human rights have come into question from some Americans and other nations. Soldiers from Abu Ghraib Prison were arrested for their treatment of prisoners and Guantanamo Bay is still in contention of closing by President Obama. Many lawmakers contest the detention of prisoners by the U.S. Military and the way they handle interrogations. Others commend them for being able to get the answers they need to win the war. However, torture and abuse is not susposed to be present during the imprisonment faced by suspected terrorists. Just like any other system, there are always a few bad eggs.

Lesson 6 Journal Entry #1

*Respond to images on p. 118 of Writing Arguments by telling what the argument of each one is. Write a strong thesis statement for each argument. How did you figure out the claim being made? Be sure there is enough information included in the narrative for a reader who has not looked at the cartoon to understand what you are writing about.
Looking at each image individually, they both are completely different. They do not even look to be the same person. It was only when I read the captioning at the bottom that I realized that both images are of John Walker Lindh, convicted Taliban terrorist and traitor. In the first image, while in the Sherriff's custody he is clean cut and appears to be wearing a uniform shirt. The argument that could be made would be the about the treatment of a traitor in civilian custody. Thesis: The treatment of traitors and revoking their constitutional rights. In the second image, imprisoned by the U.S. military, he is strapped naked to a stretcher, blindfolded, cuffed, and very rough in appearance. The argument in this image could be made that the United States treats traitors the same as anyone suspected of terrorism. Thesis: Traitors forfeit their citizen rights and should be detained like any other terrorist.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Lesson 4 Journal Entry #2

*Which of the suggested Tasks from Writing Arguments did you find most helpful in pre-writing your revision? Why?
I had two tasks that helped me tremendously. They were the freewriting and idea mapping. I find that freewriting helps me get everything in my mind out and then I follow-up with the idea
mapping to organize what I did in the freewriting.
*Which genre of argument would you most likely write on your own? Why?
I think that speeches would be the argument that I would most likely like to write on my own. I like to write things that motivate. Especially on things that I feel strongly about.
*Did you ask anyone else to make recommendations about your revising process? Why or why not?
I asked my husband many questions during my writing process when I didn't quite get what I was supposed to be doing. Asking him and also asking my instructor some questions helped me get through and finish my argument.
*Why and how is argument both a process and a product? What is the goal of argument?
It takes many steps to produce a good argument. In order to argue, you need to know what you are arguing about. You also need to put it into a very organized order to get your audience to understand it. Once you achieve that, your argument can catch the attention of your audience and can also sway their way of thinking toward your view. I think that the goal of argument is to present a concise and understandable opinion that can change a view or views of whoever is reading it and cause a change.
*How did previewing sections of a book (rather than simply reading them) help you to understand the material?
It helped me know what to expect and what sections I will need to focus on. It also helped me ask myself questions while I read the section after I previewed it so I can better understand the material.
*Whose blog did you read and leave a comment on? Summarize what you wrote.
I posted on Jeff Bowen's blog. http://jeffbowen-english.blogspot.com/
He talked about the protesting being done at military funerals. I wrote that I too find that upsetting and how I wish that soldiers' families could be left to grieve in peace.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Lesson 6 Journal Entry #3

Find another graphic, commercial, or video to analyze. Report on the argument being made. Attach a copy of the graphic element or explain how to find or view the graphic. Write a strong thesis statement for this argument.
When viewing this image of Lady Liberty, the American flag, the U.S. Constitution, and the Fallen Soldier Memorial, think on the sacrifices that soldiers are making far from home. They are away from their loved ones, their home, and even from the culture of being an American. They fight, live, breathe, and die on foreign soil, but forever in their hearts and minds is the image of liberty and freedom that the American way of life was founded. That is what they fight and die and that is they are memorialized.
This image can be found at  <http.www.stambrosechurchri.org/2010/11/15/a-prayer-for-a-fallen-soldier/>.
There is a reason why the United States has an Independence Day. To remember those who fought for freedom from tyranny and oppression. Today, American soldiers fight for the same thing, sacrificing their lives for the freedom from tyranny and oppression of others in foreign lands. Regardless of how the public feels about the reasons for Iraq and Afghanistan, one constant remains the same, the sacrifices of U.S. soldiers.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Lesson 5 Journal Entry

Is anyone else having a problem with starting on a lesson? I know that I have been having a difficulty in comprehending what is required for writing either the essay or argument. I do not know if it is because I have not been in school for a while and I just have to get used to doing essays again, or that my brain has finally decided to quit on me....lol.
I have found the freewriting and idea mapping techniques very useful. I like the way I can just ramble on in the freewriting and I can come up with ideas that I would not have come up with doing any other technique. I also like the idea mapping because it helps me see graphically what I am thinking, and helps me structure my essay better. The journalist questions are also a technique that I have done that has helped me. When I think up a Who, What, When, Where, Why, or How question, it helps me to put it into a search engine and I can search sites that fall withing my subject line. However, I do not like to do the believing and doubting game. I find it hard to start my thinking process for this and end up getting lost in my own thoughts.

*What have you learned about the writing process and/or about yourself during this lesson?
I learned that I am getting better at prewriting. I am also learning and understanding more of all the steps that need to be done to finish a lesson. The thing that I have learned about myself is that I needed to concentrate more on my writing and focusing on my formatting. I still have some more learning to do.
*What have you learned about the textbooks we are using for this course?
I find that the Writers Reference is very helpful with all the different formats and citing that I need to learn. I also find that I have learned a lot about how to argue and the structuring of an argument that I never would have thought about from Writing Arguments.
*What have you learned about your instructor's expectations of you?
I learned that she expects me to learn from my mistakes and correct them. I have also learned that she expects me to make a mistake on something that we haven't gone over and that she explains in the grading what I did wrong so I can fix it in the next lesson.
*Comment on any problems you had with outlining.
The only problems I had was figuring out which outline to do with each thesis. I had to swap some  around to make sure the outline I was using worked with the information.