Whenever I write or do a craft that is personal and will be viewed by a friend, it makes me nervous. Is it any good? What will they think? Are they going to be honest or try not to hurt my feelings? But I still decided to go that route.
My good friend, fellow college student, and army wife Michele Sargent has proofread my research paper. Her suggestions and advice has helped me immensely. I knew that I had some wording issues in some of my sentences but could not figure out how to rework it. She caught the same sentences that I knew didn't sound write. Also, she also advised me to maybe add some more information regarding Walter Reed in my refuting opposition paragraph. There is also a question on punctuation on page 6 that I am going to look at and make sure that it is correct. But over all she said my punctuation and spelling was good and she also didn't see any issues with my comma placement, which I had asked her to watch out for because I know I tend to mess up in that area. She is going to go back over and make sure she didn't miss anything.
The reason why I chose Michele to go over my paper for me is because I trust her input. The thesis for this paper is very close to our hearts. She wanted to read this as soon as I told her my thesis. We have been hit very hard in our unit this deployment and have soldiers with these injuries. With her acting as my audience and with a personal interest in the subject matter, I knew that her input would help tremendously.
I do feel as if I should add a bit more information on some of the supporting elements. Since my thesis is more focused on the experiences of soldiers dealing with amputations, especially their medical care, then more information on their treatment at Walter Reed needs to be put in. I am glad Michele suggested that. I am also going to go through and see if any other additional supporting details is needed.
I had such limited time that I did not use the Writing Center, and I am a little worried about if I might have missed something or if Michele might have missed something. I am considering sending this to another individual. I would rather email the name but he was my husband's Platoon Leader during deployment before he was injured. Luckily he was not seriously wounded but is now back here at Rear Detachment. He has offered his help with any editing I might need because he does have a bachelor's degree and had done a bunch of research papers. Any offer of help is much appreciated! Hopefully, he will get back with me soon. I have been struggling this last week with my time management so I hope to get this done soon and put the final touches on my final draft for turn in on Friday.
I am also looking forward to any additional comments from my instructor when I turn in my lesson for this week and if Michele has anything else to add. I am also going to send this to my husband to look over but he is really bad at writing so I just want his opinion on the subject matter. Because this subject is such a personal topic I am glad I went with people who are experiencing the same feelings I am, and that they know why I had to pick this topic and write about it.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Lesson 11 Journal Entry
* On your blog, write about your experience summarizing the reading.
My experience in summarizing was a little difficult. It was mostly due to the constant interruptions that have kept my mind from focusing, but I did find it a little difficult to find source articles that I was not going to use. When doing my initial search for sources, I did not find any that I was not going to use by the time I had finished my assignment for Lesson 9, so I had to find sources that were not going to work for my research. I found this also hard to do because all the sources I was finding offered so much information that I could use in my paper. The going through and finding what information I was not going to use and then finding the right articles to do in order to complete the assignment was the most difficult. When I started actually doing the summarizing once I found the sources, it became easier. I used the list of questions to use for annotation in Hacker and used that to get the basis of the summaries of each article. I also used the journalist questions to pinpoint in detail information in the article that was important. The evaluation paragraph at the end, I had to look back in Lesson 3 for and just followed the example written and substituted what I needed to coincide with the three articles. I wish I could have found two longer than three page articles so I would only have to do two summaries, but alas, it was not possible. Hopefully, my summaries are concise and do the job of explaining what I read in each article. I went back through each summary to edit and make sure that I did not quote or take anything directly from the sources, but just paraphrased. I also made sure I cited all the sources in my summary to make sure I gave credit where it was due. I was actually curious about my second article on how to do this because it is a wikipedia source and it took the information off of two articles, one which I had used for my bibliography. Since I was supposed to use one that I didn't use for Lesson 9, I was confused because technically I am using a wikipedia source but I did cite the two articles because wikipedia stated information gathered from them. Hopefully this still falls into the instructions for this lesson.
My experience in summarizing was a little difficult. It was mostly due to the constant interruptions that have kept my mind from focusing, but I did find it a little difficult to find source articles that I was not going to use. When doing my initial search for sources, I did not find any that I was not going to use by the time I had finished my assignment for Lesson 9, so I had to find sources that were not going to work for my research. I found this also hard to do because all the sources I was finding offered so much information that I could use in my paper. The going through and finding what information I was not going to use and then finding the right articles to do in order to complete the assignment was the most difficult. When I started actually doing the summarizing once I found the sources, it became easier. I used the list of questions to use for annotation in Hacker and used that to get the basis of the summaries of each article. I also used the journalist questions to pinpoint in detail information in the article that was important. The evaluation paragraph at the end, I had to look back in Lesson 3 for and just followed the example written and substituted what I needed to coincide with the three articles. I wish I could have found two longer than three page articles so I would only have to do two summaries, but alas, it was not possible. Hopefully, my summaries are concise and do the job of explaining what I read in each article. I went back through each summary to edit and make sure that I did not quote or take anything directly from the sources, but just paraphrased. I also made sure I cited all the sources in my summary to make sure I gave credit where it was due. I was actually curious about my second article on how to do this because it is a wikipedia source and it took the information off of two articles, one which I had used for my bibliography. Since I was supposed to use one that I didn't use for Lesson 9, I was confused because technically I am using a wikipedia source but I did cite the two articles because wikipedia stated information gathered from them. Hopefully this still falls into the instructions for this lesson.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Lesson 10 Journal Entry
A 70 year old veteran in Oregon will be served with an eviction notice in his apartment complex if he flies the American Flag on Veteran's Day.
I understand the need to follow rules set forth in the apartment complex lease, however, this is a little ridiculous. The man served in the Navy, he has mutliple family members who have served. Are we not living in the United States of America. When has flying the American Flag suddenly become the wrong thing to do. Yes, flying of any banners is against the code in the apartment complex, but this is done more to prevent conflicts from rival sports teams. This is Oregon, a state which is part of the United States. Everyone in that apartment complex should be an American. Who is going to complain that flying the American Flag is against their beliefs, and if they do complain, guess what? You are in America. He should be flying that flag everyday but he only flies it on military service days and holidays. The apartment complex even put a crappy flag pole up with a flag that has already turned orange. When will the respect be given for these veterans that have served and fought for us so we can have the rights that we possess. Also, Veteran's Day is a government holiday, out of any day that the American Flag needs to be flown, it should be that day, his day. This is a day that we put aside our own ideas and opinions and honor and remember those who have fought and served in the military. On all days, we should honor this veteran by allowing him to fly the American Flag on Veteran's Day.
I understand the need to follow rules set forth in the apartment complex lease, however, this is a little ridiculous. The man served in the Navy, he has mutliple family members who have served. Are we not living in the United States of America. When has flying the American Flag suddenly become the wrong thing to do. Yes, flying of any banners is against the code in the apartment complex, but this is done more to prevent conflicts from rival sports teams. This is Oregon, a state which is part of the United States. Everyone in that apartment complex should be an American. Who is going to complain that flying the American Flag is against their beliefs, and if they do complain, guess what? You are in America. He should be flying that flag everyday but he only flies it on military service days and holidays. The apartment complex even put a crappy flag pole up with a flag that has already turned orange. When will the respect be given for these veterans that have served and fought for us so we can have the rights that we possess. Also, Veteran's Day is a government holiday, out of any day that the American Flag needs to be flown, it should be that day, his day. This is a day that we put aside our own ideas and opinions and honor and remember those who have fought and served in the military. On all days, we should honor this veteran by allowing him to fly the American Flag on Veteran's Day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)