Whenever I write or do a craft that is personal and will be viewed by a friend, it makes me nervous. Is it any good? What will they think? Are they going to be honest or try not to hurt my feelings? But I still decided to go that route.
My good friend, fellow college student, and army wife Michele Sargent has proofread my research paper. Her suggestions and advice has helped me immensely. I knew that I had some wording issues in some of my sentences but could not figure out how to rework it. She caught the same sentences that I knew didn't sound write. Also, she also advised me to maybe add some more information regarding Walter Reed in my refuting opposition paragraph. There is also a question on punctuation on page 6 that I am going to look at and make sure that it is correct. But over all she said my punctuation and spelling was good and she also didn't see any issues with my comma placement, which I had asked her to watch out for because I know I tend to mess up in that area. She is going to go back over and make sure she didn't miss anything.
The reason why I chose Michele to go over my paper for me is because I trust her input. The thesis for this paper is very close to our hearts. She wanted to read this as soon as I told her my thesis. We have been hit very hard in our unit this deployment and have soldiers with these injuries. With her acting as my audience and with a personal interest in the subject matter, I knew that her input would help tremendously.
I do feel as if I should add a bit more information on some of the supporting elements. Since my thesis is more focused on the experiences of soldiers dealing with amputations, especially their medical care, then more information on their treatment at Walter Reed needs to be put in. I am glad Michele suggested that. I am also going to go through and see if any other additional supporting details is needed.
I had such limited time that I did not use the Writing Center, and I am a little worried about if I might have missed something or if Michele might have missed something. I am considering sending this to another individual. I would rather email the name but he was my husband's Platoon Leader during deployment before he was injured. Luckily he was not seriously wounded but is now back here at Rear Detachment. He has offered his help with any editing I might need because he does have a bachelor's degree and had done a bunch of research papers. Any offer of help is much appreciated! Hopefully, he will get back with me soon. I have been struggling this last week with my time management so I hope to get this done soon and put the final touches on my final draft for turn in on Friday.
I am also looking forward to any additional comments from my instructor when I turn in my lesson for this week and if Michele has anything else to add. I am also going to send this to my husband to look over but he is really bad at writing so I just want his opinion on the subject matter. Because this subject is such a personal topic I am glad I went with people who are experiencing the same feelings I am, and that they know why I had to pick this topic and write about it.
Your essay has hit closer to home right now. A former student was paying his last respects at the home of a cousin in California on Dec. 2. The cousin had been killed in a gang shooting. Dan was there with his little sister and had spent 15 minutes at the house. At they were leaving, the gang arrived and started shooting. He pushed his sister under the car and took the bullets from an AK-47. He lost his left arm and right leg and may yet lose his left leg. He has not fully realized his situation. He is still talking about it intellectually. This will be a really hard thing for him and his family in Alaska.
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